i feel guilty when i go about my day and get so wrapped up in what i am doing that you escape my mind for a while. then when i stop it all comes back and i remember that you are gone.
i feel guilty that i can go out and about and have fun, but you can't.
i feel guilty that i didn't get married sooner....
i feel guilty that i didn't start a family sooner too....
i feel guilty that i seem to have so much to say to you now, when you aren't here to hear it...
i am sorry i cheated you and myself as well
Alicia, the second to last line is going to be the one that i carry with me for a long time. The guilt I feel because I failed to recognize the importance of just visiting with dad and asking him questions and telling him things, will linger for a long, long time. although we are told by the movies we see and the friends we hear who go through the same thing, that loved ones are not guaranteed to be here forever. We still fail to recognize the opportunities we have to do what we should do; spending time with loved ones.
ReplyDeleteyea i am having a hard time with that one too. which is why i started this. i feel like i need to get out what i want to say to him, even though i know he isn't here to hear/read it. i am sure it will be a while. and i know there is no way to speed up the grieving process, but i wish there was.
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