Hey Pal. I know I am not waking you up, but you sure do that at times. There are nights when I can sleep all the way through, which is fine. And then there are days like tonight when you pop in my head and I cannot go back to sleep. Actually tonight I probably could, I am that tired. But I wanted to type to you this time.
You know, sitting at your house tonight, I just had the image of you coming around the corner in the cart. I haven't gotten a call from you of late or a racy email, and it feels so strange.
You left us too early dad. There are going to be so many times in the future, when we reflect back on our time with you and know we hadn't done enough with you or for you; you know to help you solve your physical and emotional problems. There was so much more we needed to do dad. So much more too talk about. I am sorry I didn't do as much with you as I should have. Sorry I didn't come over and just watch a movie with you. I am sorry I didn't come and take you out of the house for rides from time to time. I am sorry I didn't call that much. I am sorry I didn't see you that much your last days in the hospital. So therefore, I am sorry for making you hurt, because you knew all of this. That seems to be my mode at times dad; to see missed opportunities right when they become missed opportunities.
Love you pal and do miss you. Keep looking out for mom from your new perch.
Phil
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