Hey there Papa! It's been a while since I have been here, I know. I just feel like a lot of what I would have said, would have been repetitive. It's been almost 2 months now and not much has changed. It seems as though I have days where I think about you more then others. But generally not a day goes by that I don't think about you or wanting to call you or hug you.
As the holidays approach I find myself tormented between being excited and extremely sad. It's hard to be so happy and so upset at the same time. It's definitely going to be a challenge.
I was talking to mom earlier and mentioned that I feel like I have lost my connection to you. At first it felt like I had to talk to you everyday... and now...not so much. That bothers me. I don't want to lose that connection. Then when I sit here typing and "talking" my head goes blank. I wonder, too, if I am starting to get mad at you. I don't want to be mad at you, but I understand that it's part of the process. I know you are sorry for a lot, if not all, of your bad decisions and the strain you put on the family, I know you are, and I guess I feel bad being mad at you when I know that you are sorry. What is unfortunate, is that you really can't make it up to us now.
I have been meaning to get on here and tell you about the Food and Wine Festival at Epcot. It was fabulous! You would have enjoyed it. Aaron and I are taking mom next year. SO EXCITED.
HAve to get my day started now daddy! I love you!!!
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