So as phil mentioned this was our first thanksgiving without you here. very surreal. as usual i expected you to just appear as if from no where. i know you aren't here and that you aren't coming back, but it doesn't make it any easier to accept.
i was pretty good today until dinner time approached. it occurred to me that you would not be taking your usual place at the head of the table. that seemed to be when it sank in a little more. i could see you clear as day and almost hear your voice too.
i spent the night last night and when i got up i told mom that i had a vision of you and i in your kitchen cooking meatballs. you were in your chair and i was standing at the stove and we were discussing the meatballs. it was very vivid and realistic. but then i wake up and the reality sets in again and i feel like someone has ripped out my heart and stomped on it.
i love you and miss you so much! hope you are resting peacefully!
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